It’s now been almost five years since dad was first diagnosed with cancer, and it sometimes feels difficult to recollect the terror I felt in that moment. It is amazing how quickly I feel things have gone back to normal. Right after dad started to get better, all members of our family seemed much more equipped to deal with life’s little triumphs and defeats with a sense of balance and calm. Now I find that I have relapsed into old habits.
I’m hopeful, however, that this book and this blog might help me stay a little more connected with the reality of what we faced, and how fortunate we are that my dad is still here. One thing that has definitely occurred is that in the years since writing the book, our family has gotten closer. The process of writing the book has, for each of us, provided a better understanding of each other’s experience. As far as legacies of terminal illness go, I think that’s about as good as one can hope for.
Having written the book, we are now beginning the process of sharing it. This, I find, has been much more anxiety-producing then actually writing it. While we all want to the book to be successful, I occasionally worry that success may taint its meaning for me. It is a book that we wrote with the intent to share it, but it is also our book, and there are moments in which it feels like having my personal diary listed on amazon.com. The thing that helps is the thought that the book may be of use to other families. I hope so.